Thoughts..

I dont write in this diary every day. Maybe once a week, occasionaly more i will write something down that i think may be of interest; i`m presuming that folks who come this way are not looking for stuff like `today i went to tescos, then the libary, got petrol bla bla`.Of course there are events in the world that i could comment on every day, its just that i dont want it to read like a calender of misery either. Sometimes (like yesterdays awful stabbing and death of a 14 year old boy in school) events are so awful that i feel i want to ignore it; we perhaps only have the capacity to feel so much. I can looks at the news and shake my head in dis-belief, and then a few moments later be joking with a friend on the phone about something triveal. I sometimes feel guilty about this. Sometimes i`m not sure what the correct way to `feel` is, as if we kind of deal with things on a certain level and then move somewhere else because the reality is so bleak. But we have to live in each moment, and i think if we couldnt step in and out of different levels of engagement then it would be hard to function at all. Whats a contradiction the whole thing is sometimes.